If you have ever wanted to commit suicide, let Geoshack help you pull the trigger
Pros
It would be completely biased of me to withhold the pros of working at Geoshack. Even though they are few and far between they are still notable: 1) You will form an unbreakable bond with your fellow co-workers. This bond will be fueled by your common loathing for Geoshack and all that it stands for. They will wholeheartedly embrace and support your decision to seek employment elsewhere. 2) The mediocre benefit plan will help cover your psychiatric visits and Prozac prescription. These services are quite expensive and you’d never be able to afford them on a meager Geoshack wage. 3) You will learn how to live off the same budget that you did when you had your first paper route. You’ll develop an appreciation for generic brands and also become eco friendly when walking becomes your primary method of commuting. 4) You will love your next job. When you do find employment elsewhere, you will cherish the opportunity that was afforded to you. You will find yourself arriving to work early, smiling for no particular reason and your tired haggard appearance will be lifted the day you peel away from the Shack.
Cons
Every job has its cons but Geoshack has the most: 1) If you are weak minded this job is not for you. I guarantee you will be yelled at daily, micromanaged and made out to look like a fool. 2) Job security is nonexistent. They won’t hesitate to fire you on a whim. When things go south (which they will) you will be their convenient little scapegoat. 3) Overtime is mandatory and compensation for such is debatable. 4) Hopefully you’re a fan of Survivor because you’ll be chastised by your management team in surprise tribunals. 5) If you are expecting leadership and instruction on how to use Geoshack’s proprietary Netsuite program; forget it. You’ll be provided with the standard half day training followed up with no one in the company actually equipped to adequately answer any questions you may have. 6) You’ll learn to embrace redundancy because you’ll be asked the same question repeatedly until you are able to provide the answer that they are looking for. You’ll learn to embrace redundancy.... 7) If at three months you should inquire about your review, management will inform you that reviews are conducted every six months. At the six month point they’ll inform you that it’s actually yearly. Hopefully, you won’t work there long enough to ever get an actual review. 8) If you are overwhelmed by the mounting workload and ask for help, they will offer you a shelf.
