Twas the night before Halloween and I was working away,
while completely unaware that it would be my last day.
My notes were all entered in salesforce.com,
as I stood there unaware of the ticking time bomb.
I then noticed HR with a big box in one hand,
and I thought to myself gee who's getting canned?
Though it quickly became evident as I walked into the room,
that the big empty box was foreshadowing my doom.
My jokes turned to serious as I thought what the he--?
You’re just going to delete me like a column in excel.
“I’m sorry you're terminated due to restructuring woes.”
Those words knocked me down like a sucker-punch to the nose.
The elements of anger and surprise became numbing,
as I assure you I certainly did not see this coming.
And I knew it wouldn't matter to discuss my appeals,
And to kindly remind them of my impending new deals.
You see I had worked hard for nearly two years,
While crushing the output of 90% of my peers.
Working for a company whose walls scream of despair,
Overwhelmed with cancellations and declining market share.
The opposing directives from one VP to the next,
in redundant sales meetings leaving wise one’s perplexed.
“Here’s our new strategy, now everybody cheer,
and we’ll hope you won’t notice it's recycled from last year!”
"But never mind that, hey you got a new deal?
Well come up to the front and spin the prize wheel."
Now let’s discuss Marketing… actually…. I’ll leave them alone,
considering I created most material on my own.
They’re a great group of people I can say without a doubt,
but you know what they say, garbage in garbage out.
Oh... and watch out for channels and their conniving master plan,
As they'll screw direct sales reps on any opportunity they can.
So I think I've said enough to paint an accurate picture,
through my use of creativity and underlined with true stricture.
After all I was fired and let go from my position,
screwed out of my hard work and my year-end commission.
And so maybe you’ll think twice, do some research, use your wits,
Before applying at Prophix to work with a bunch of misfits.
